Why I Began Special Effects Makeup

Hello frenz! Welcome back! You might notice that things look a little different here on my blog, as well on my other social media accounts. I’ve recently started doing special effects makeup, and it turns out that I’m rather decent at it. I enjoy doing it so much that I’ve shied away from my blog for a little while. When I started blogging, I thought that I wanted to be this magnificent writer, but some thoughts have changed. Don’t get me wrong, I still LOVE to write…but I also LOVE doing makeup. But I’ve been thinking, why choose between two passions when I can do them both? So here it is, my new and improved blog…all about SFX makeup. For my readers who prefer my serious, article-type posts, I will still post those as a way to get my thoughts out, but the bulk of my content will be about SFX makeup. I’ve been told to create a YouTube channel for my looks, but I’m not too good with cameras, editing and talking. I’m better with written words and I only think it’s fair to give you all the best of my content.

First off, I want to say that I am in NO WAY a professional makeup artist. I do makeup for fun and all of the opinions expressed here on out are based off of my own experiences. If you’re looking for professional makeup advice, you’ve come to the wrong place, my dear. With that being said, I’ve been doing makeup since I was very young. It started with toy makeup as a baby nugget and progressed to spending all of my hard earned money at Sephora. I’ve been practicing my skills for some time now, and I’ve just now gotten to the point where I can say, with confidence, that I am good at makeup. Practice most certainly makes perfect, and with practice comes understanding. When you’ve played and practiced with makeup for so long, you begin to understand its use. It’s like an art — you begin to understand highlights and shadows and what colors flatter certain skin tones and eye colors. That’s when it starts to get fun.

I’ve always had a love for horror and gore. The first horror movie I ever watched was The Nightmare on Elm Street when I was really young. I was hooked after that. I enjoy the rush of being scared. I enjoy watching a bloody masterpiece in someone’s mind come to life. Call me weird, call me crazy, but it’s something I’ve always been fascinated with. I’ve always had an appreciation for art, too, but the problem with that is I’m not very artistic. I can’t draw for shit but I can color the shit out of a coloring book. Years ago, my sister introduced me to Glam and Gore on YouTube. I had found a new appreciation for special effects art. I would watch in awe as she created stunningly bloody looks, knowing that I would never be able to create it due to the lack of artistry in my veins. I became a bystander to the very thing I loved.

Thinking I could never do it made me never want to try. I thought I needed all of these products and a boatload of cash to be able to create these looks. But there was one day where I just said, fuck it, I’m gonna try. I broke out the eye shadow palettes and went to town. I was surprised with how natural it came to me. I’ve never been good at art, so how was I good at this? I found my new hobby and passion that day. Now fast forward three weeks — I’m shocked by my progression. Three weeks of practice has me creating looks that I never dreamed of being able to create. Not only have I impressed myself, but the public support has been overwhelming. I can’t figure out why I waited this long to do what I love, but I’m happy I started when I did.

I hope you enjoyed my little background story. If you’re interested in doing SFX, dramatic/glam, or even everyday makeup looks, my advice is to just do it. Try it and see what you’re able to create. Your undiscovered skills might shock you.



Goals for the Rest of 2017

Hello frenz! Welcome back to whatever this blog has come to. I've been bored with my blog lately, so I thought about doing something a little different. I've seen these done before and I think it's fabulous to share goals with likeminded individuals. I've tried to keep this post upbeat, but to be honest, I haven't been so positive lately. So here goes – my goal list for the rest of 2017.

I've been unemployed since March, so that makes a total of almost five months now. I was planning to join the Air Force, but realized that I was leaving too much behind (also I'm too old to be tricked by military schemes). I put that goal behind me and now I have another – to find a job. Not only do I need one to pay my bills and buy food, but I'm tired of not working. Every day since losing my job has turned into a blur and I'm ready to be productive again.

I really don't want to live in Pennsylvania anymore. It's poor and highly taxed. The weather sucks and my town should be known as Drug and Crime Central. By getting a decent (and steady) paycheck from accomplishing Goal #1, I hope to be able to start saving enough money to get the hell out of here within the next two years.

I want to write for a living, I've known that for some time now. I want to be a full time writer or even a full time blogger at some point. I want to get my blog out there and create a name for myself. I need to start creating my empire.

I don't think I've ever had this amount of stress in my life. I have nervous breakdowns almost every day, mostly due to lack of money. I can't afford things I want and need. I want to live stress free again. I want to be able to enjoy life and wake up happy.

This is something I've wanted to do for some time, but haven't had the money or want to invest the time in. But Halloween is coming up and you best believe I want to scare all the kiddos on the block this year.

Since money has been so tight recently, I've only been eating once a day and skipping the gym to conserve gas. I need to get back into the routine of working out regularly and eating enough so I don't waste away into nothing. It's easier said than done when you have $-33 to your name.

My trip to Florida at the beginning of July was so incredible. Seeing and spending time with my family meant so much to me. I want to make it into a regular visit.

I really do enjoy reading, but I lack the interest to do anything other than nap (thanks depression). I also find myself reading the words but daydreaming about something else, which leads me to reading the same paragraph ten times. I have so many books but have only read maybe five of them. I'd like to read them all and then add to my collection.

It sounds a little materialistic but I'm a sucker when it comes to makeup. I watch and read tons of reviews on new products and I want them all…but lack the dough to get them. I haven't purchased any new makeup in at least a year, and it's breaking my heart.

Last Christmas was horrible. I wasn't able to get anything for anyone and it made me feel so low. Christmas is my second favorite holiday and I love giving to others. I want to be able to give to everyone I can this year, and even to the less fortunate. I miss having the means to be generous.

I haven't been happy in such a long time, and I really miss the feeling of enjoying life. I need to get that feeling back for my own sanity.

I'm keeping this list as my own little time capsule of things I want to accomplish. I hope to look back in January 2018 to have accomplished all of these and then some. Here's to my future endeavors.

What You Don’t Hear About Living in Poverty


Poverty is around us everyday, whether we choose to acknowledge it or keep it in the back of our minds like that bad 90s techno song. Poverty doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care about your race, gender, who your parents are or that you graduated college with a perfect GPA. With the price of living rising and decent paying jobs becoming few and far between, it’s hard to keep your head above water in the modern day. There are some things about poverty that most like to keep behind closed doors. Today, I am going to expose the true struggles of living in poverty.

The average income for the poverty line in America is $24,250 for a family of four. In 2015, 13.5% or 43.1 million Americans were found to be in poverty.* What this statistic doesn’t show is the amount of immense stress these 43.1 million American experience. Poverty leaves you in such distress, as if every day is a battle for your life. You wake up in the morning and the first thing on your mind is money. How will I pay for groceries? How many groceries can I get for $20? You know well that your two person household won’t be able to live off of that amount of groceries, but you don’t have a choice. You spend the rest of your day trying to get your mind off of your stress. You try everything from a nap to a nice, long run…but it doesn’t matter. Your stress returns almost immediately.

Along with stress comes the sleepless and restless nights. You lie awake and stare at your ceiling, hoping for the universe to send you a sign of what to do. Your anxiety increases with all of the hopeless “what ifs”. Soon it’s midnight and then 2:00 am and before you know it, you’re still wide awake come 5:00 am. You were supposed to go to a party the next day, but you can’t seem to pull yourself off of the couch since your anxiety, stress and depression have been hounding you into the wee hours of the morning. And so the cycle continues until you finally become exhausted.

You want to make plans to see your friends, but you’re too embarrassed to say, “I don’t have enough gas to get there”, or, “I don’t have money to go out to lunch.” Casual shopping trips and iced coffees with your girlfriends become a thing of the past, and something that you’re too easily envious of. You shop at Goodwill and feel guilty for spending a little extra cash on a few t-shirts and some jean shorts. Your pride shrinks and you begin to sink into a depression like state. You can’t take much wanted trips or vacations. You can hardly afford to go see your family in the next town over. You really begin to understand the true meaning of cabin fever.

You resort to prioritizing your bills and ultimately have to skip one or two a month just to afford food or gas for the week. The guilt is overwhelming when you’ve never missed a payment and you just got your credit in good standing. You almost feel like a failure even though you’re trying your very best to make things work day by day. You start to debate selling some of your expensive items just to have a little stash of extra money. Any money that you’re gifted is never spent recreationally, although that’s all you wish for is to be able to have expendable cash.

Your thoughts become overwhelming when you think about how worse it could be, and how easy you could end up homeless and on the streets. You want to be thankful for the things you have because you know others have it worse. You’re aware that there are different types of poverty and that the kind you live in is much better than others, but it’s still hard to focus on how good you have it when you feel so low. You prepare for the worst in every situation because although you’re hopeful, you’re never quite sure how it will end up. Your cynicism becomes increasingly high. You’re in constant fear of how fast things could go south.

Whilst living in poverty is stressful, difficult and outright overwhelming, surviving it comes with certain abilities. You learn how to problem solve. You learn that optimism can get you through more than you think. You learn just how strong willed you can be. You understand the meaning behind never giving up, mainly because you don’t have choice. When you want to be successful in life so bad, you will do just about anything to get there…even if you have to struggle for awhile first.

For all of those that can relate to this post and who might have it the same or, god forbid, worse than me, I want you to know that you can get through this. I am right here with you, and we can’t give up. Nothing ever lasts forever. Keep on keepin’ on.

Until next time, xo.

*Statistic according to talkpoverty.org.

[Photo Credit: Pixabay]

What’s Been Going On: Vacation, Anxiety, Life

whats been going on blog post

Hello there, frenz! Long time, no blog post. First off, I would like to apologize for the 24-day absence. If you read my last post, you know how I was running my blog completely from my iPhone and that I ordered a new laptop charger so I could run my blog the way it is supposed to be ran. Well, the charger came later than expected and then life events, as you all know, came crashing down like monsoon season in Vietnam.

My boyfriend thought three weeks ago that it would be the perfect time to quit his dead end job. If you know anything about me, it’s that I like to see people with happy souls. He didn’t have a happy soul at this job. He was doing slave work and working insane hours for very minimal compensation. He’s my man and my best friend, so of course I supported his decision 150%, even if I didn’t totally agree with it. Sometimes you gotta quit that crappy job for a happy soul and peace of mind; I’ve done it and was happier because of it. The only issue now is that we are a household with a total fiscal balance of $2 bucks.

Although we are extremely broke, we’re trying to make the best of our situation. I actually have a family vacation to Florida in T-minus 12 days. And no, I didn’t spend money on a plane ticket that I could’ve been spending on food. My generous and loving big sister and brother-in-law paid for both mine and our other sister’s tickets. Our niece turns ten on July 6th, and what kind of aunts would we be if we didn’t visit her? A vacation to bright and sunny Florida is long overdue, and is just what I need to clear my head. I need to get away from this rain and gloomy weather. I need a break from my own existence. I need to be in my happy place, which is poolside (or ocean side) with coffee in one hand and a fashion mag in the other.

As excited as I am, I’m also exceptionally nervous. I’m nervous for the plane ride, because I’ve never been on one and I’ve seen Final Destination a billion times; but I’m more nervous to see my big sister. She’s been like a mother to me ever since ours crapped out of the unconditional love department. I’ve made many changes to my life in the last year since she’s moved away and I can’t get it out of my head that she won’t approve of the changes I’ve made. She’s always told me she wanted me to move out of my parents’ house and experience life; learn what I like and dislike and find out who I am, and that’s just what I’ve done.

Whether I like to admit it, I need approval from my big sister. She’s always pushed me to do great things and I want to make her proud…but what if I don’t? It might be my anxiety talking or it might be a validated fear, but I don’t want to feel less proud of the choices I’ve made for my life by her disapproval. My boyfriend said something to me a few days ago that really stuck with me – “if she doesn’t approve of your life, then she’s not really your sister and doesn’t really love you.” And he’s right…like always. But if that is the case and she’s not happy with my newly formed beliefs and the choices I’ve made, then I won’t have much family left, and it’s already upsetting enough not to have parents in my life.

It could be the child in me that never grew up that needs approval and validation, but I  finally know what I want, and am meant, to do with my life and I’m ready to put the steps into motion. All I want is to be truly and utterly happy, at whatever cost.

Until next time, xo.

[Photo Credit: Pixabay]


7 Things You Need to be Doing if You’re Unemployed and Broke AF


When I was 16 years old, I wanted to be a marine biologist. I thought I was going to go to college, get a masters or even a doctorate. I thought I would work in some futuristic lab that was on top of the ocean and I would have this amazing job and all the money in the world. Fast forward seven years; no masters or doctorate, I live in a small apartment with my boyfriend and three pets, and I’m unemployed. 

Being in your 20s is hard enough, and then you lose your job and you think your life is actually falling and crumbling right before your eyes. Before you submerge your feelings in double fudge ice cream, here are seven things you need to be doing if you’re unemployed and broke AF. 

1. Learn to manage money. 

Managing money is really hard, especially when you want a burrito from Taco Bell at 1 a.m., but try to cut the spending and resist the fast food urge. Prioritize your bills and pay the most important first. I always make sure rent is paid above all else. My dad always used to say,

“A roof over your head is the most important thing, the rest are luxuries.”

Instead of eating out at expensive restaurants every day, try grocery shopping at discount stores like Aldis (my personal favorite), Good Cents or even the Dollar Tree. Everything is just $1 and they have a pretty awesome selection, like freezer foods and dairy products. Discount food stores also have a ton of weird and different foods, so have fun with it!

2. Learn to cook

This goes along with the first. Learning to cook, if you don’t know how to already, will literally change your life. You can make the most delicious meals, have leftovers AND not spend a ridiculous price to have it cooked for you. There are tons of websites and apps for all sorts of recipes. Give it a go and I promise you’ll thank yourself later. 

3. Conserve gasoline and electricity. 

As sad as it is, the days of driving around with your friends are over, at least for now. Conserve, conserve, conserve. Try carpooling. When I go to the gym and I don’t have enough gas, I ask my sister for a ride since she’s going to the same place. Carpooling can be a serious life saver. Also try conserving the electric you use in your apartment (if it’s not included in your rent) to keep your electric bill as small as you can. Turn off unnecessary lights and unplug things like your microwave and even your phone charger. Try setting the sleep mode on your TV at night, too. 

4. Keep a change jar 

This is something I grew up doing. My dad always kept one of those ten-gallon containers for loose change. My boyfriend and I do this and it’s a life saver. Need quarters to do laundry? Change jar. Need a few bucks for gas money? Change jar. I saved up for 6 months and cashed it in at a CoinStar, $60 extra in my pocket. 

5. Ask friends/family for help

My boyfriend and I have done this so so so much and it actually helped out in the really binding situations. His mom would give us bags of groceries that she wasn’t going to eat, as would his dad and even my sister. Not only food, but we got a free couch through my sister’s boyfriend’s grandma. You’d be surprised what people are willing to give away if you just ask. 

6. Find a side gig

If you’re unemployed like mwah, obviously looking for a job is the number one priority, but if you can swing it a little bit, try looking for a side gig like dog walking or babysitting. A little bit of money is better than no money at all!

7. Do not dwell on what cannot be changed. 

This is by far the most important. Don’t let your anxiety and emotions take control. There is nothing that can be done about the situation. All that can be done is trying to fix it, like looking for jobs religiously and being active and productive during the day. Becoming a couch potato is only going to make you feel worse than you already do. 

Unemployment is one of the most frustrating situations to be in, especially in your 20s. You’re already trying to figure it all out and now this on top of it makes like almost unbearable. Just take it one day at a time and fight like hell. Just like a storm, this will pass.