Liebster Award Nomination 2017 & My Nominees

Hello frenz and welcome back! This post is extra special and near & dear to my heart. I was nominated by the lovely RenaΒ for the Liebster Award! For those of you who aren’t familiar with what that is, it’s an award for bloggers. No trophy involved, just recognition and support for your blog. It’s a big deal for me, because I’ve literally never been nominated for anything. I once won a 3rd place Track and Field award in elementary school, but that’s about the extent of my award winning abilities. If you haven’t, go check out Rena’s blog. She’s a cat loving personal blogger who writes about some pretty relatable stuff – plus she’s super sweet, so give her blog a read. Now, without further adieu, let’s get into this thing!Β 

Rena’s questions to me are as follows, with my answers. I hope you enjoy getting to know a little more about me!

1. What is your go-to dressed up outfit? Every time you want to look done up, what do you tend to do?
Well, let’s address the outfit portion — I usually where anything that I feel comfortable and confident in. It really depends on my mood. Sometimes I want to wear a dress, and other times leggings and a cute top can suffice as “dressed up”. Don’t judge — comfortable can also be dressy. As for what I do to look done up, I definitely gotta fill in these sparse brows and add a sharp as shit winged liner.

2. What is the last book you read?
I’m one of those people that read half a book and then put it down and start another one. I’m currently in the middle of reading three different books, but the actual last one would be Salem Falls by Jodi Picoult. This book caught my eye on Walmart’s book shelf AGES ago, mainly because it had Salem in the name. I hardly remember what it’s about but I know I really enjoyed it. Perhaps I’ll make it the fourth book in my ongoing reading frenzy.

3. Why did you choose the blog platform you are on?
Mainly because I wanted a site where I was able to gain followers straight from the platform. Plus, I’ve heard very good things about WordPress. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever transfer platforms. WordPress is where it’s at for me.

4. What is one goal you have accomplished this year that you are really proud of?
Finding what I want to do in life. It’s not so much of a goal I had, but I’m really happy that I found my calling this year. I know I want to write for a living, and in learning that, it’s completely changed my outlook on the future.

5. What hair product would you rather not live without?
Leave-in conditioner. My hair has a nice, natural texture to it. I can live without styling it, but I definitely need it to be hydrated so it doesn’t turn into broom bristles.

6. What methods do you use to plan your blog posts?
I take mental notes most of the time. I get an idea and outline it in my head. If it’s a more complicated post that requires research and planning, I free write on my phone just to get my ideas out. Then I paste it as a draft in WordPress, get on my laptop and paste it into a Word document for edit. 90% of the time, I plan and upload posts from my iPhone.

7. What is one beauty trend you’re afraid to try but really want to?
Bright colored hair. I once dyed my platinum blonde hair a non-permanent blue and it stained my hair. I spent countless nights bleaching my hair to get it out, leaving it dry and lifeless. I love the look of ombre’d colored hair and I would kill to have it, but I’m way too apprehensive due to a bad experience.

8. Do you prefer sweet or salty snacks?
It ultimately depends on my mood. Sometimes I have a hankering for chocolate that can only be satisfied by eating four bags of M&Ms. And then other times, I can eat 12 bags of potato chips like it’s nothing. I honestly don’t snack too often, but the type of snack I want is usually reliant on my mood.

9. What is one song you can’t stop listening to at the moment?
I don’t have one specific song as I do one specific artist. I went full 2006 emo kid and listened to My Chemical Romance for a month. Now I’m on a Melanie Martinez kick. I give it a few days until I’m jamming to Cannibal Corpse for weeks.

10. Do you have a favorite magazine and why?
I might be in my 20s, but I’m still a huge fan of Seventeen magazine. They have a lot of nice tips and trends — plus they always have vibrant colors which usually catch my eye. Their articles/stories are also very well written and their magazine is nicely put together.

11. What is one piece of advice you would give a first-time blogger?
Just do it. You might feel silly or like a noob, but the blogging community is extremely supportive of all types of blogs. I thought since I didn’t write about makeup or beauty that there wasn’t going to be a place for me in the blogging world, but the reactions to my posts are just the opposite. I have tons of blogger friends. I honestly have more online friends than I do in real life. Blogging is a commitment, but if you’re truly passionate about it, you will love every second of it. Just put yourself out there and go for it.

Now that you learned a little about me, it’s time for my nominations! Since Rena nominated me, I’ve been constantly thinking of who I want to nominate. There’s this rule about only nominating blogs with “200 followers or less”, but I feel weird about asking someone or creeping on their blog. So I’m going to nominate some of my favorite bloggers that really need some love and recognition.

Mystic Mogwai – I found this girl on Twitter and she’s so incredible. I love her style and her blog name is ingenious. She’s not one specific type of blogger, which is why I love her blog so much. She’s chatty and her blogs are fun to read!

Natural Hazards and MoreΒ – This girl deserves so much recognition for her ongoing battle of informing the internet world on science. Her blogs are extremely important to the future of the planet.

Ditzy D Blog Β – She writes about her self journey through anxiety and depression in such a beautifully honest way. Her blog deserves so much recognition.

The Emma LifestyleΒ – She’s a lifestyle blogger who writes about everything — from beauty products to book reviews to everyday life. She’s a sweetheart and I really enjoy her blog.

Howling LibrariesΒ – I really love book bloggers. Although I’m not currently too much of a reader, I enjoy reading book reviews. She writes really solid reviews, so why not go give her blog a read?

Black Tulip BeautyΒ – And last, but certainly not least, is one of my FAVORITE beauty bloggers out there — mainly because she’s a total babe and I wish I could jack her style. She writes incredible product reviews and also has sunflower yellow hair!? She’s the total package when it comes to beauty bloggers.

Below are the questions for my nominees, if you choose to accept! Have fun!

1. If you could be any animal, which would you be? Why?

2. What is your holy grail beauty product and why?

3. What is the one thing you want most out of life?

4. How do you come up with ideas for blog posts?

5. Who is your biggest role model? Why?

6. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

7. What is your dream job?

8. Do you think you would survive in a zombie apocalypse? Why or why not?

9. What are you most confident about?

10. What’s your favorite movie and why?

Goals for the Rest of 2017

Hello frenz! Welcome back to whatever this blog has come to. I've been bored with my blog lately, so I thought about doing something a little different. I've seen these done before and I think it's fabulous to share goals with likeminded individuals. I've tried to keep this post upbeat, but to be honest, I haven't been so positive lately. So here goes – my goal list for the rest of 2017.

GET A JOB
I've been unemployed since March, so that makes a total of almost five months now. I was planning to join the Air Force, but realized that I was leaving too much behind (also I'm too old to be tricked by military schemes). I put that goal behind me and now I have another – to find a job. Not only do I need one to pay my bills and buy food, but I'm tired of not working. Every day since losing my job has turned into a blur and I'm ready to be productive again.

SAVE MONEY
I really don't want to live in Pennsylvania anymore. It's poor and highly taxed. The weather sucks and my town should be known as Drug and Crime Central. By getting a decent (and steady) paycheck from accomplishing Goal #1, I hope to be able to start saving enough money to get the hell out of here within the next two years.

GAIN A FOLLOWING
I want to write for a living, I've known that for some time now. I want to be a full time writer or even a full time blogger at some point. I want to get my blog out there and create a name for myself. I need to start creating my empire.

LIVE STRESS FREE
I don't think I've ever had this amount of stress in my life. I have nervous breakdowns almost every day, mostly due to lack of money. I can't afford things I want and need. I want to live stress free again. I want to be able to enjoy life and wake up happy.

BEGIN SFX MAKEUP
This is something I've wanted to do for some time, but haven't had the money or want to invest the time in. But Halloween is coming up and you best believe I want to scare all the kiddos on the block this year.

MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LIFE
Since money has been so tight recently, I've only been eating once a day and skipping the gym to conserve gas. I need to get back into the routine of working out regularly and eating enough so I don't waste away into nothing. It's easier said than done when you have $-33 to your name.

TAKE ANOTHER TRIP TO FL
My trip to Florida at the beginning of July was so incredible. Seeing and spending time with my family meant so much to me. I want to make it into a regular visit.

READ MORE
I really do enjoy reading, but I lack the interest to do anything other than nap (thanks depression). I also find myself reading the words but daydreaming about something else, which leads me to reading the same paragraph ten times. I have so many books but have only read maybe five of them. I'd like to read them all and then add to my collection.

BUY MORE MAKEUP PRODUCTS
It sounds a little materialistic but I'm a sucker when it comes to makeup. I watch and read tons of reviews on new products and I want them all…but lack the dough to get them. I haven't purchased any new makeup in at least a year, and it's breaking my heart.

GIVE GIFTS AT CHRISTMAS
Last Christmas was horrible. I wasn't able to get anything for anyone and it made me feel so low. Christmas is my second favorite holiday and I love giving to others. I want to be able to give to everyone I can this year, and even to the less fortunate. I miss having the means to be generous.

BE GENUINELY HAPPY
I haven't been happy in such a long time, and I really miss the feeling of enjoying life. I need to get that feeling back for my own sanity.

I'm keeping this list as my own little time capsule of things I want to accomplish. I hope to look back in January 2018 to have accomplished all of these and then some. Here's to my future endeavors.

The Problem with Modern Day Job Searching

Hello frenz and welcome back! How are ya?! So I made a poll on Twitter the other day, talking about making a to-be-honest, cut throat, rant-style blog post about the struggle of job searching. The ballots are in and it seems yes won by a landslide. So here it is, and believe me the struggle (and frustration) is real!

Money, money, monnnaaayyy!

Everything revolves around money. Money has become a survival tool, especially with the value of a dollar gradually decreasing. In order to obtain and sustain money, a job should be in order. In most parts of the world, jobs are hard to come by, especially semi-decent, well paying jobs.

"How are we expected to live like this?"

I don't know about you, but I'm definitely in the market for a job, since losing mine in March. The job search for me has become increasingly difficult and tedious. I don't think I'm being too picky when I ask for full time hours at decent pay. The minimum wage in Pennsylvania is $7.25 an hour. That equals out to $290 a week (40 hours) BEFORE taxes. You get about $100 (sometimes more depending on how much you make) taken out for taxes. That's $190 a week, or $760 a month.

What makes employers think that that low of a wage is livable for anyone? Yes, when you're really broke, money is money. But what do you do when you can't afford your rent or the electric bill or gas for your car, among all the other bills you might be juggling, and you're only getting paid $190 a week? It's not reasonable. I could live off of a $9 an hour wage, which only equals out to $360 a week (before taxes). In some states, $9 an hour or MORE is the minimum wage! To reiterate, I don't think I'm being too picky when I ask for a decent wage.

Okay, what is it with employers asking for 3+ years experience for an ENTRY LEVEL job? In order to gain experience, you need someone to give you a chance, but in order to get a chance, you need to have experience. I'm a fast learner. Give me two, maybe three days top of training and I bet you I could do the job. I understand wanting to hire a person because they already have experience in a certain field, but come on! Give us a chance to do the job before you decide that we're incompetent.

Not only do employers ask for a massive amount of experience, but it seems like nowadays they are only willing to give part time hours (usually only up to 20). In Pennsylvania, the employers do it so they don't have to pay the extra money to offer you benefits. Isn't that fucked up? Not only are you not getting any benefits whatsoever, but you're also getting paid less money per paycheck — and it's not like you're working for much as it is.

A lot of employers straight up lie on their job ads, especially healthcare positions like Home Health Aides or CNAs. They list that they offer full time or part time positions and that they pay $18 an hour. So you think to yourself, fabulous! I can work part time and still bring home decent money! Uh-uh, wrongo. You apply, end up getting the job, and then realize that you're working ten hours a week and that they can't offer full time hours. THEN WHY SAY THAT YOU DO? It's a way to sucker people in and leave them still living in poverty. It's a lose/lose situation.

And for the people who have military experience, forget about it. At least where I reside, employers will swear up and down that they hire veterans. But do they? My boyfriend has applied to a billion jobs (with only having military experience) and has received zero phone calls. So you hire veterans, huh? I bet.

It's the same with college graduates. You might have graduated top of your class, but employers don't care. They say you're too young. You're too inexperienced. You're too this, you're too that. It's utter nonsense. It's like employers are looking for specially programmed robots rather than taking a day or two to train a real person.

It's come to the point where so many people who are living on their own can't find a job. They're forced to move back in with family and take a minimum wage job at Burger King, never using their degree (or training) and feeling like they've wasted the last however many years of their lives.

Is this an issue that can be changed? Or is it going to get to the point where the economy becomes so bad and jobs become so scarce that society just collapses?

Just know that if that does happen, the people living poverty will survive, because it already feels like society collapsed right on top of them.

[Photo Credit: Pixabay]

23 Things I’ve Learned in 23 Years

I’ve been on this planet for 23 years now. That’s 8,359 days and 201,480 hours. Within that time, I’ve learned some things about myself and my life, as most do when they grow older. Some things take a longer time to learn because you need to experience self growth, while others are learned in an instant. Below are 23 things I’ve learned in 23 years — things I wish I could tell younger me.

1. Perseverence is Key
Hard work really does pay off. Don’t give up.

2. Do What You Love
Even if it’s a hobby like painting yard gnomes, do it any chance you get. You deserve to have a joyous passion.

3. Blood Doesn’t Mean Family
It’s all about how you’re treated. My boyfriend’s family is more of mine than my own…because they treat me like family. See how that works? Don’t feel obligated to stick by someone just because of blood relation. You don’t need that negativity and stress in your life.

4. Nothing Lasts Forever
Whatever you’re going through, it won’t last forever. Keep pushing through the hard times and keep having good times. It all gets better.

5. Friends Come & Friends Go
Your best friend when your 15 might not be your best friend later in life. You might keep in touch and catch up once in a blue moon, but it might not ever be like it was. And that’s okay.

6. Less is More
I’ve been living on my own for three years, I’ve just now begun to realize how much stuff I actually own…and it’s driving me to insanity. Don’t clutter your space because you really want a turtle statue that you have no place for.

7. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare
Mentally prepare for events or things that make you anxious or scared. It makes the experience less traumatic.

8. Read
Read the newspaper. Read about current events. Read everything you can. Knowledge is power.

9. Drink in Moderation
Drinking way over your limit, being sick that night and/or the next morning, along with a headache and a craving for McDonald’s? No, thanks.

10. Wear Whatever You Want
Honestly, life is too short to care what someone else thinks.

11. Stop Comparing Yourself
You’re YOU for a reason — you don’t need to be like anyone else. Become comfortable with yourself. Self love shines through.

12. Exercise More
Relieve your stress and lose some weight in the process.

13. Challenge Yourself
Set goals for yourself and force yourself to get there. Future you will thank you. 

14. Follow Your Dreams
We all take a different path sometimes because we’re not 100% sure of what we want. But when you come to that great realization, chase that dream. You can do anything you set your mind to.

15. Stop Feeling Bad for Being Lost
So you don’t know where to go or what to do in life? Stop feeling bad for it. There are people who seemingly have it all that are just as lost as you are. 

16. Have a Backbone
Stand up for what you believe in. Don’t take shit from anyone.

18. Stop Eating Fast Food
Cooking is fun and you can choose what goes into your food. Fast food makes you feel like garbage. You don’t deserve to feel like garbage.

19. Be Yourself
Stay true to who you are. Don’t lose yourself in the mindless trends or the competitive nature of life.

20. Learn About Your Planet
Grow familiar with where you live and the nature surrounding you. Mother Earth is a beautiful planet. Take care of it.

21. Plan and Prioritize
Plan out everything and learn to prioritize your life. Routines and plans can save you from chaos.

22. Love
Fall in love. No matter what you think, you will be accepted by another human. Stop being scared of that.

23. Build Your Empire
No matter what you have set for your life, work and build it. Be a boss. 

Florida Nights: My First Time Traveling

florida

Hello, frenz! Long time no blog! It’s been a few days since I’ve arrived back to Almost 70 Degrees and Overcast, Pennsylvania. It’s always a bittersweet feeling to arrive home after a one-week vacation; you wish you could’ve stayed longer but, at the same time, you miss your boo and fur babies. Florida was an incredible experience. It was my first time being on an airplane (which caused a nervous breakdown all its own). It was my first ever vacation in another state and even away from home – other than the time I was 13 and went to Las Vegas, but that honestly shouldn’t even count. It was an incredible experience, even through the most frustrating of times. Let’s sort these out in categories, shall we?

THE INITIAL AIRPORT EXPERIENCE
I get really bad anxiety when I have to be somewhere at a certain time so you best believe I was planning out the trip to the airport and every little move I would make. I (obviously) psyched myself out because it wasn’t a terrible experience…at all. Granted the airport we flew out of was incredibly small, so it was easy to find the kiosks, security and the terminal. I even got fresh airport coffee, which I was looking forward to since we left at 3:30 in the morning. The more time that passed, the more nervous I became that there would be an issue with our bags or somehow the flight would be cancelled (hello irrational fear). As zones were called and I began boarding my very first aircraft, the nervous feelings subsided, as I had successfully navigated through my first airport. That’s a win for this girl!

THE FLIGHT TO ORLANDO, FL
Okay, so I had a minor freak out within my own head when the plane took off — mainly because it shot back like a rocket and I was glued to the back of my seat. To be honest, I’m not sure what I was expecting other than the plane to blow up Final Destination style. Once we were at altitude, my nerves relaxed — until I had to pee. That was an experience all its own. First, I tried to open a closed stall (are they called stalls?) because I didn’t look around to see that there were, in fact, two potties in the same vicinity. I also couldn’t figure out how to get the water on to wash my hands, and soon couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. I wasn’t the whitest cloud in the sky that morning.

ARRIVAL IN ORLANDO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
Arriving into sunny Orlando, Florida was incredible. Even looking down from the plane, it’s so clear how beautiful the Sunshine State is. The Orlando airport is international so it was massive in comparison to the one at home, in landmass and population. There was so much diversity in people, where they came from and where they were going. I was a confused mess when I finally had my feet on the ground — I didn’t know where to go or how to navigate this large and in-charge airport. Talk about a culture shock. Thankfully, everyone in Florida (unlike PA) are incredibly kind and helped us find the shuttle that would take us downstairs. From there, we were on our own to take elevators to ground transportation, which is where we thought we needed to be. It took us a good 20 minutes to figure out how to get outside. It turns out, my brother-in-law was at a different part of the airport looking for us. And so the shenanigans ensued.

Odd Fact: the buttons designating floor numbers in the elevators are labeled as cattle in the Orlando airport. Why?

ORLANDO, FL
So we didn’t actually stay in Orlando itself. My family lives about 20 minutes out of Orlando, and that’s where we spent the majority of our time. When we arrived, I was taken back by how hot it was. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think it was going to be like it is up North, but I wasn’t expecting to be a baked potato as soon as I stepped out the door. The heat was incredible. You couldn’t get in a car without your legs and back burning on the seats. You couldn’t lay out in the sun to get a tan without becoming a sweaty pile of goo. Needless to say, I spent the majority of my time in the pool.

We weren’t pool potatoes for long before we became beach potatoes. I, personally, have only seen the ocean on TV. I was taken back by how huge (and how hot) it actually was. Crystal blue water with white (hot!) sand — it wasn’t long until I grabbed the boogie board and attempted to catch some waves. The waves knocked me down more times than I could count…I obviously didn’t have my sea legs. I could’ve spent my entire life in the ocean. We collected seashells and I learned about crab and clam holes from a 10 year old. It was a magnificent way to spend the day…except for the sunburn. That could’ve stayed on the shore.

Since daytime is so hot in Florida, we decided to wait until evening on one Sunday to go play miniature golf, and after, laser tag. The golf course was a tropical pirate theme with two separate courses. The plant life and scenery was the epitome of a tropical vacation…and let’s talk about the amount of lizards! I so badly wanted to catch a baby lizard, but those suckers are fast! While the humidity was at an all time high (but it made my hair look good so whatevz), it was a breath of fresh air (literal air conditioning) when we went to WonderWorks to play laser tag. Yet another first checked off of my list, but I have to say, I wasn’t a fan, mostly because I sucked and my shirt kept falling down. First World Problems, I know.

The remaining days spent in Florida were poolside with bagels and coffee — also a three hour nap in the pool (hello crispy legs). The sun was relaxing and therapeutic to me — I wasn’t thinking of all the problems I had at home. I was living right in the moment without a care in the world. But, all good things eventually come to a screeching halt.

THE FINAL AIRPORT EXPERIENCE
Getting to the Orlando airport was a fucking nightmare. The rush hour traffic was at an all time high, with cars dodging other cars left and right. All I wanted to do was get to the airport and get on my plane because my anxiety was making me a flustered mess. The parking garage that my brother-in-law wanted to park in was full, so we spent a good 15 minutes driving around looking for a spot — meanwhile, I was having a panic attack about somehow missing my flight. We made it there at 6:00 and our ticket said we had to be through security by 6:27; I still wanted coffee and my sister needed to visit a gift shop — do you see why I was a hot mess? I later found out that we had more time than anticipated and I was a happy clam when I finally got my coffee…except when I threw it out in the security line because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to have it. RIP to my half full iced coffee. I still miss you.

HOME SWEET HOME!
It’s a weird feeling when you come back from vacation. It’s like you just lived this completely different life and then you’re back to where you started a week prior. Although I wish I could’ve stayed in Florida forever, I was ready to be home. It’s been five days since I’ve been home and I’m just now able to get my routine back. My days in Florida are becoming a fond memory.

All in all, it was a great experience. I don’t know if I would travel the world or be one of those “full-time travelers” after this experience. It’s too much of a pain in the ass to navigate airports and dodge that amount of people — it’s not my thing. It’s nice to have that place that’s “home” and I’m as happy as a clam to be back. I’m trying to get my blog and life back in order, so hang in there with me.

rl

Is Social Media a Popularity Contest?

CONTEST.png

Ah, social media, the time waster and meme maker. The internet and social media are incredible technologies. We can create content, whether it be a video, writing, artwork, whatever you’re into — we create it and we’re able to share it with anyone in any part of the world at any time. There are thousands, if not millions, of creators trying hard to be noticed on social media, through the vast sea of like-minded internet peers. We want our content to be seen and heard by everyone. It’s almost like high school, trying to be noticed by the cute senior with the car. It’s a popularity contest based solely off of follows and likes from total strangers.

Between Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and other social media platforms, there are millions of people trying to get noticed; either by a company, record label or just likes on a picture. When did numbers begin to validate our existences? I remember a time when I would delete pictures off of Instagram or Facebook if they didn’t get “enough” likes. I was so wrapped up in the validation of perfect strangers that I lost track of who I was in real life. I was trying to portray a version of myself on the internet; a person that someone would like — and for what? Follows and likes. Since coming out of the “it’s all about numbers” phase, I’ve been able to be one of the more honest folks on the internet. I stopped caring about the numbers because it doesn’t define me or my content. If they like me, they’ll follow me. If not, oh well.

Recently, I’ve become increasingly aware of creators who have, let’s say, 14k Twitter followers, but complain that they only have 40 blog or video views. It’s not about having a great number of followers; it’s about having an audience, people who like what you create and genuinely want to read/listen. I can’t figure out why so many creators take so much time to gain unengaging and, ultimately, fake followers, when they could be producing a potential groundbreaking masterpiece. Not everyone is going to like what you produce, just like you may not like what someone else produces. We all have our likes and dislikes, and you can’t be upset when someone doesn’t necessarily like what you create. For example, I’m not going to follow a blog that has a niche in childcare when I don’t have kids. My follow won’t matter if I’m not reading and engaging with the creator.

We need to stop getting caught up in false validation and get back to creating unique and incredible content. As a creator, I enjoy writing. It gives me a creative way to get my thoughts out of my head and onto a virtual notepad. I started a blog because I wanted to share my thoughts and my seemingly different opinions. I wanted to have a voice in this world and maybe even make a difference. I want readers to relate to my thoughts, and maybe take something away from my experiences to better themselves. I put hard work into my posts. I do the research when necessary. I revise the same sentence and paragraph a million times before I’m satisfied with the way it sounds. I get joy out of creating my little space on the internet.

“I like to do it. If someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to read it.”

Social media can be a gift to creators who really want to make something out of their passions. It’s no longer a popularity contest when you care less about the numbers and more about the real-life person behind that follow or like button.

To all of my readers and followers, thank you for reading. You all mean the world to me and you make my little space on the internet radiate with light. I wish you all the very best.

rl

[Photo Credit: Pixabay]

Letting Go of Toxic Thoughts

toxic thoughts

We all have toxic or negative thoughts, whether it’s about ourselves, other people or something we don’t fancy doing. Sometimes these thoughts can overpower all of the positive ones, and as a result we’re left feeling mentally and emotionally drained. But how do we stop seeing the negative and start noticing the positive side to life? That’s where mind control comes in. No, not the type that David Blaine does on Las Vegas sidewalks; I’m talking about controlling our own minds to turn toxic thoughts into positive thoughts.

Sometimes I get overwhelming thoughts about myself. My mind makes me feel that I’m not good at anything and sometimes, it even goes as far as making me feel that the world would be better off without me. I’m a generally optimistic person, I just have a few issues with anxiety…so why do I feel this way? Negative or toxic thinking usually begins with a mistake I’ve made that I feel overly embarrassed for, and then it turns into thinking about everything I’ve ever done wrong. If you think like this too, there is a way to control it. You simply talk yourself out of it. It sounds crazy, I know, but it’s really that simple. Let yourself make a mistake. Acknowledge said mistake, learn how to do better next time, and move on. Don’t beat yourself up for it. You’re human. This is how you grow and become better. This is especially true if you’re a toxic thinker in relationships. Talk to your significant other about it. Sometimes their reassurance is all you need to convince yourself that it’s okay to be human. This goes hand in hand with perfectionism, which is a main player in my toxic thoughts.

“I want so bad to be perfect although I know perfect does not exist.”

Turning toxic thoughts into positive thoughts can be grueling when you’re not naturally an optimistic person, but sometimes that’s all it takes to turn your day around. It’s an old saying, but try to look on the bright side. Yeah, things might be hard at work or you’re having a crap day, but there’s always a positive. Spilled your coffee in your car? There’s a reason to buy that Starbucks coffee that you never get to have, and a reason to stop the procrastination of cleaning your car. Is your boss on your case really hard today? Remember that all days come to an end. It’s so easy to jump to toxic thinking when something bad happens. It’s easy to think that one disaster can ruin your whole day; but it can get better when you deal with a problem when it happens, and then move on. Deal with your emotions in the moment rather than letting them boil all day until the inevitable eruption.

Stop taking everything so personally. This is something I’ve struggled with and I am just now learning how to handle. I’m a people pleaser, especially when it comes to a loved one. If my boyfriend wakes up grumpy, I automatically assume it’s because of me. When he loses his temper at a video game, I get nervous because I don’t want him upset or mad at me. I’m familiar with the fact that it has nothing to do with me, but my toxic thoughts lead me to think that I did something wrong. If you’re like this too, stop it. Stop it right now. Not everything is a personal attack at you. Learn to understand the difference between a person who is grumpy at the world and a person who is grumpy at you. Walk away or ignore this behavior in your loved one to save yourself time and energy.

Sometimes we do have bad days where everything is happening all at once and we can’t help but become overwhelmed and frustrated. I’m not denying that days like this exist. I’m also not denying that anxiety and toxic thinking feed off of each other. What I do know is that you can talk yourself out of any emotion as long as you acknowledge it, deal with it and move forward. Your mind likes to play a lot of tricks on you. Start playing tricks back.

Until next time, XO.

[Photo Credit: Pixabay]